Archive for we don’t want you back

“By Public Demand”

Posted in Bollocks, TV, Unwanted Comebacks with tags , , , , , , on October 16, 2010 by drawingdad

So Hey Hey It’s Saturday returns to our televisions screens tonight. “Ask and you shall receive!” says Channel 9’s advertising, because this time, the show is actually on Saturday night. Was I the only one shaking my head in bewilderment when they put the show on Wednesday nights earlier this year? (Which fuckknuckle at Channel 9 was responsible for that one?) Was I the only one then, and the only one now thinking “why the fuck is this steaming pile of old manure back on TV in the first place?!?”

Eleven years. We had eleven years of Saturday nights free of this crap. By the time it was finally, oh-so-belatedly axed in 1999, the show was as tired and bloated as a beached whale with PMS. Host Daryl Somers was at least 10 years past his prime, finding it necessary to over-explain his lame retread jokes to the audience just in case we didn’t get them. We got them, Daryl. They just weren’t funny. I’ve found funnier jokes in Christmas crackers. By the end, the man had become a parody of himself. But that wasn’t funny either, it was just sad.

And after the, in my opinion, disastrous reunion specials last year, apparently made due to “public demand”, the show came back on an ongoing basis. Did Somers and his crew take the opportunity to improve upon the worn-out old format? Hell no, it’s all exactly the same as it was back in 99. How else can you explain the infamous blackface skit that made worldwide headlines for all the wrong reasons? Somers and co seem to think there was nothing wrong with it, and apologised only because of pressure from international guest Harry Connick Jr. It’s a different world these days, Daryl.

Who really wants to see this shite all over again? There are good reasons the show was given the chop in 99. The public didn’t want to watch anymore! So why now does this same public apparently want the show back?

One word: Nostalgia.

Look, I’m as nostalgic as anyone but I’m at least smart enough to know that having happy memories of something from bygone years probably won’t translate into that something being any good today. Just look, for example, at the recent crop of TV remakes that failed because they were pathetic attempts to recapture old glories: 90210, Bionic Woman, Knight Rider, Melrose Place… Thank god they haven’t tried to bring back Baywatch yet.

Enough already! Why waste our time with this bullshit? Why not think of something new, something original? Something worth watching?

The current series of Hey Hey is supposed to run for 7 episodes, I believe. Let’s all hope that it doesn’t come back after that.


Speaking of unwanted comebacks, John Farnham has returned with a new album, Jack. Wasn’t he retiring in the early 2000’s? Yet here he is yet again, rising like some wailing phoenix to pollute the airwaves with bland middle-of-the-road elevator music. Note the title Jack – an allusion to Farnham’s most successful album, Whispering Jack. Hoping to recapture old glories too, are we John? Who would listen to you anymore, aside, maybe,  from menopausal women? And for fuck’s sake, your mullet may be shorter these days, but it’s still a fucking mullet! Hit the road Jack, and don’t you come back no more no more no more no more.*

*Perhaps ironically, Farnham actually sings this song on the new album. Wish he’d take his own advice.